Okay everyone, let's all give a big round of applause to welcome the new state of "Palestine" to our august body of the United Nations... that's right, this is a great moment.
As for you "Palestine", we know you have no history, no great leaders to point to, no true national identity - but we'll overlook that. We know that you hate the Jews, and what more do we need to say? We do too!
We're sure that you'll enjoy your time here at the UN. There are plenty of other countries that you have much in common with, dictatorships, rogue states, terrorist states - oh, you already know Iran? Of course, they gave you those missiles you shot off into Tel Aviv and Jerusalem a couple of weeks ago. It's always good at know at least somebody at a party.
Freedom? Democracy? Tolerance for religious minorities? Human rights? Respect for your neighboring countries? Nah, details, shmetails, those things aren't important here at the United Nations.
Get comfortable, join a few committees - maybe file charges against Israel at the International Criminal Court once you get the hang of things. We're sure that you can find something to do here at the UN to delegitimize Israel.
Again, everyone please welcome "Palestine" to the United Nations - we are so happy to have you here.
The Peace Talks to Nowhere Good
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