04 May 2009

The Supreme Social Worker

Cue the soundtrack.

Feelings... nothing more than feelings...

Are you singing along yet? Cue Tina Turner on the second soundtrack.

What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion...

Let's change "love" to "law" and we have the Obama pick for the next Supreme Court Justice.

What's law got to do, got to do with it
What's law but a second hand distraction...

The law is a definite distraction. We want someone with feelings. We want a person who will understand and feel for the little guy who has been taken advantage of by those big, mean conglomerate tycoons who just want to make a buck off the working class. Proles Unite!

President Obama is being urged by leading Democrat Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) to pick someone "from outside the judicial monastery - someone who has had some real-life experience". And that wonderful, articulate Democrat of the Moment Arlen Specter believes that having eight other justices on the bench is enough. I agree. We have way too many judges on that Court. Let's throw in a social worker or a psychiatrist into the mix. Let's try and understand the underlying issues that plague the system.

Justices are hearing cases about labor disputes and industry. That's an easy one for our Supreme Social Worker. Just take the company and give the union 55% ownership. Government will get another 10%.

Freedom of speech is also something that plagues our system. Those who dare to criticize the Messiah Obama gets their reputation attacked by the mainstream media and by the Messiah Himself. Remember those infamous two words "Fairness Doctrine"? Another slam dunk by our Supreme Social Worker. Repeat: It's important that everyone feels heard and their grievances understood.

"Empathy and Understanding" are the key words here spoken by the Messiah Himself. Our Supreme Social Worker must show these qualities and look past those petty laws to see the real issues at hand. I, myself, look forward to a time when I will be judged by the victimhood status I hold rather than the laws I have broken.

Cue soundtrack.

Feelings... nothing more than feelings.


Anonymous said...


My only issue with your article is with your disrespectful way of referring to our president. Sardonic references to him as the messiah are, in my opinion, just not appropriate. There are proper ways to express ones dissatisfaction in a respectful manner. He holds the highest office in the land, even if you don't like him or his policies. You are way too smart and way too articulate to get caught up in that.

Unknown said...


Whatever the other merits of your post, you're definitely off-base on one issue: The idea of a non-judge being appointed.

Strange as it may sound, quite a few of the more-respected SCOTUS Justices were *not* judges prior to being appointed, including Earl Warren, who's widely considered to be one of the greatest in history.

Here's an article on the subject from back in 2005, when Harriet Miers was (briefly) on the hot seat:


Apparently, 38% of the Justices throughout U.S. history had no judicial experience (thankfully, all of them at least had law degrees!)

Weirdest thing I've found out about SCOTUS: there's no age limit--apparently the youngest one was just 32 years old.

While I agree that someone with judicial experience would probably be a better choice, temperament and reasoning seem to be the bigger things to look for.